When your child is a baby, they are still very dependent on the mother, they are funny, adorable, and never rebel. As they age their toddler, they begin to show a unique person who has their own desires. They can reject the father’s request, and sometimes seem undisciplined, selfish, aggressive, and so on.
In terms of the concept of disciplining toddlers, there are still many parents who associate it with verbal abuse such as snapping and physically like pinching, twisting, or hitting parts of the body. The developed pattern focuses more on the threat and fosters the fear that the child obeys the parents.
In fact, according to experts, the pattern of discipline model is not good for the child’s mental development. Threats and growing fear can diminish the character of the child in the future. Violence in discipline is also strongly discouraged because it can instill an understanding of the child that violence is allowed.
Love and Trust vs. Fear and Threat
Instead of providing threats and physical violence, experts prefer a pattern of approaches of affection and motivation. When your child is doing ‘misbehavior’, teach him the way he should, not punish him. Marrying with gentle and loving does not mean to spoil them. Assertiveness is still needed in discipline, but it should be non-violent physically or mentally.
The concept of a love and confidence relationship in disciplining the little one, will foster respect and trust in the mother’s father, and it is much better for the child’s mental development than the concept of threat and violence that will give rise to fear and non-independence. It must be implanted in the mind of the mother’s father that discipline is ‘teaching’ instead of ‘punishing’. Here are tips to teach discipline to make your child good behavior
Tips to Discipline Your Child with Love
1. Be realistic in wishing.
Toddlers especially under three years do not understand the concept of ‘soon’, ‘wait’, ‘patience’, and ‘share’. They will understand depending on the stage of maturity of the development of his mental age, not on the expectations of parents. So keep teaching and be patient.
2. Show the positive.
Toddlers like to be noticed and happy to treat people they care about very well. Firmly but accompanied by the language of love, give hugs and smiles in disciplining them, then the mother will see the amazing effect.
3. Recommend the variety of emotions.
Teach your child to recognize the different types of emotions and how to express them both verbally and non verbally. When they are able to express the mood appropriately and feel heard by the mother’s father, they will tend to be calmer without an emotional outburst.
4. Create a diversion.
Give alternatives when mother wants to ban something. For example when the child plays a gas stove knob, stop their activity by diverting his attention. Give other objects that are safer to play, flashlight for example.
5. Limit options.
Give them limited options rather than free options on them. For example when going to wear a limited choice of clothes offer, whether to wear green or red shirt. Limiting the choices can help your child learn to make decisions and avoid frustrating the little one because they are faced with choices they have not been able to decide correctly.
6. Flexibel and give examples.
Try to see something from the perspective of the little one, if your child refused to come home from the playground, give a little time or at least warn to get ready to go home a few minutes earlier. The little one is a master imitator, therefore give a good example for them to imitate them. If the mother want them neat with the play, make sure the mother’s father is also neat with the goods at home.
7. Thinking anticipatively.
The saying that ‘better prevent than cure’, applies here. For example when the mother directs the child to not play the ball inside the house, the mother can avoid the explosion of emotion when the child’s ball breaking valuables in the house.